Dogs deserve to get royal treatment
Ann Cannon
What fun! Instead of attending boring state functions and dealing with headstrong daughters married to French playboys, Princess Grace could scamper around the castle chewing up Prince Ranier's carpet slippers! And then at the end of the day she could sit in her own lap and fall asleep!
Compared to my dogs, I thought, Princess Grace's dogs had it made in the shade. What dog wouldn't love having the run of the Grimaldi palace, situated in the heart of Monaco (aka "the world's smallest French-speaking country")?
My dogs, on the other hand, only had the run of our nonpalatial house, situated in the heart of Salt Lake City (formerly aka "the world's largest producer of Canadian vanilla and burnt almond fudge ice cream").
Still, my dogs had us. Their family. And like I always say, who needs carpet slippers belonging to hereditary monarchs of minor French-speaking European principalities when you've got people at home in America who really, really love you?
Now, however, I'm beginning to wonder if we (aka "human beings") give ourselves way too much credit where our dog friends are concerned ...
FIRST DOG: LOOK! MASTER IS FOLDING TOWELS AGAIN!
SECOND DOG: OH MY GOSH! LET'S ALERT THE MEDIA! THEN LET'S SHED AND DROOL AND JUMP ON THE LIVING ROOM FURNITURE WITH HAPPINESS!
OK. It's been pretty flattering to think that two living creatures could find me so interesting. Especially when certain teenage persons do not. Lately, however, I've been wondering if those looks of devotion on my dogs' faces are actually looks of chronically unfulfilled expectation.
FIRST DOG: OK! WE'RE HERE NOW!
SECOND DOG: WHEN DOES THE PARTY START?
It's like that time I went to a gathering for young single adults. (Back in the day when I was young. Also single. Also adult.) Anyway, the event was lame, lame, LAME, and as the evening wore (painfully) on, I heard someone say, "Of all the parties I've ever been to, this one certainly isn't."
Is that how my dogs feel as they follow me from room to room? Disappointed that the good times STILL haven't begun?
FIRST DOG: WHEN IS MASTER GOING TO ROLL IN DEAD THINGS WITH US?
SECOND DOG: WILL TODAY BE THE DAY? FINALLY? AT LAST?
(Answer: No. Today will not be the day.)
Anyhoo. It's been a little sobering to consider the possibility that not even my own dogs think I'm that much fun these days. I can almost hear them say "Human beings! They're so overrated!" Which only makes me appreciate even more the way they suck it up and keep me company.
Good dogs!
(OK. Got some more towels to fold. I'm out of here.)
E-mail: acannon@desnews.com
Recent comments
My leg still hurts from one of those dogs!!!
S.N. | March 10, 2008 at 12:30 p.m.
Don't you think E II would like to come back as one her her dogs...
Lory S | March 10, 2008 at 11:51 a.m.
