Battered women 'Find Voice' in music
Performances let former victims tell their stories
You start to see that in Guest's smile. Then when you hear her voice, you know she's moved past the "just surviving" stage.
The same is clear in the voice of Jenn Smith, another Cache County resident who, with Guest and 28 others, created "Finding Voice: Music of Utah Battered Women." Performances of the musical drama will be staged Tuesday at Utah State University's student center auditorium and next Monday, Oct. 20, at the University of Utah's Olpin Union ballroom. Curtain times for both are 7 p.m.
Despite recent histories of intimidation and violence, the women are to tell their stories in a highly public venue.
"Each time I perform or speak on domestic violence, I gain strength," said Smith, a 30-year-old Utah State student who plans to earn a master's in marriage and family therapy.
"All I have really wanted in life is to be heard, and to be taken seriously. This happens when I speak, when I perform, when I no longer hide," Smith added. "I am no longer afraid of my abusers. I am no longer afraid to heal."
Smith, Guest and the other "Finding Voice" cast members met at CAPSA, the Community Abuse Prevention & Services Agency shelter in Logan. York, director of Utah State University's music therapy program, set their poetry to music and composed a drama based on their progress out of abusive relationships.
Some of the Cache County women, York observed, had lost their creative energy and experienced what she called "soul theft."
At CAPSA meetings, she played songs such as jazz artist Rhiannon's "Spirit Healer," about finding the strength to change an unhealthy situation and then extending that strength to change society.
"I could imagine what the effects (of the music) might be," York remembered, "but I had not seen what it looked like."
What she saw transcended her expectation.
The experience of listening, singing and playing together restored their energy, slowly changing them from survivors to the "thrivers" York hoped for.
"The women are reigniting their musical skills. One woman is playing flute again. Another woman is no longer on medication for anxiety," York said. "You'll see changes in posture, as they see themselves as performers and as artists, instead of as victims."
"I think music worked for myself and others in the group because it accesses a different part of our emotions," said Smith. Often, "these emotions are so locked up deep inside that we cannot get to them in any other way. Music has provided me with the freedom to get in touch with feelings and emotions I was otherwise forbidden to or afraid to express." Smith added that feelings of fear and anger used to overwhelm her, but in confronting them through music, they became easier to deal with.
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