Utah politicians look back on good ol' summertime
Pignanelli & Webb
Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.: "Being the guv is a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I spent the summer schmoozing important people in neat resorts, hanging with the Mexican Prez, chowing down on tacos on State Street, doing guest performances with famous rock-and-roll bands, riding my Harleys, and cruising on a wave of a strong economy. My job approval ratings are sky high and life is good. My autumn project is to devise a way to keep those pesky legislators from hanging around Capitol Hill and fooling around with state government."
Lt. Gov. Gary Herbert: "I spent the summer giving speeches with plentiful references to the 'Huntsman-Herbert administration.' I don't think anyone has forgotten my name . . . so far."
Sen. Orrin Hatch: "I spent the summer trying to memorize the names of Congressman Rob Bishop and Congressman Chris Cannon but still forgot them in my convention speech. But I did remember to praise Congressman Jim Matheson. I took some time out from composing songs to look up the definition of an 'Urquhart.' It's an ancient Welsh name for an ungrateful upstart who is a pain in the neck."
Rep. Rob Bishop: "I worked on my dry wit during the summer. It's a little more moist now, but lots of people still don't get my jokes. It's like a story I told about Frank Pignanelli. One reason Frank is a little weird is that when he was young he thought he was a chicken. He made clucking noises and flapped his elbows and people made fun of him. I asked his parents why they just didn't tell him he was really a little boy, not a chicken, and they said, 'Well, we probably should have, but we were quite poor in those days and we really needed the eggs.' So why don't people get my jokes?"
Sen. Bob Bennett: "I spent the summer helping my senior senator, Orrin Hatch. We'll soon have legislation passed forbidding anyone with an unpronounceable ancient Welsh name from being elected to the Senate."
Congressman Chris Cannon: "I spent most my time hanging out with my Democrat friends. At least they're not running against me."
Congressman Jim Matheson: "With no opponent in sight, I spent the summer raising money and trying to convince Orrin to endorse me at the Republican convention."
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