Will Rocky finally fire himself?
Doug Robinson
Due to poor hiring practices in the Salt Lake City mayor's office that have led to an embarrassing number of dismissals, and given the boss's impatience with employee performance, Mayor Rocky Anderson might decide to fire the man responsible for the hiring and mismanagement.
Himself.
"This morning I am announcing another change in my staff," he would say. "I am firing myself. I offered myself a wonderful opportunity. I'm sorry it didn't work out. My hiring work was sloppy and half-hearted. I wish myself the best. I have accepted a position with Greenpeace."
Rocky, you remember, is a self-professed taskmaster. He demands good work, long hours and results from his staffers, and if he doesn't get all of the above, look out. "I will continue to demand the very best from those that are paid by taxpayers," he said last week.
So it seems clear that he's going to have to give himself a pink slip.
"I have made hiring mistakes," he admitted recently.
Dozens of them. Last week, two more employees hit the trail. The most recent was longtime "friend" and spokeswoman Deeda Seed, whose firing had all the grace and dignity of a Jerry Springer special. It immediately turned into he-said, she-said — she said he was abusive and profane, he said she was incompetent; she said he was a religious bigot, he said no, he wasn't, she was; neener, neener, neener, and then they vowed to get each other at recess.
Rocky quickly named a new spokesman — Clifford Lyon, founder of Rhythms of Life, a nonprofit group that promotes noncompetitive play for youths (and he's going to the mayor's office?!).
Memo to Lyon: Don't give up your day job.
Lyon will replace Seed, who replaced David Jones, who replaced Josh Ewing, who replaced Ted Nguyen, who replaced Dave Owens, who replaced Phil Riesen.
If you're keeping score at home, the latest body count is 41 people who have either resigned or been fired from the mayor's office in the fewer than six years that Rocky has been on the job — about seven per year. Imagine the carnage if Rocky wasn't a "softie," as he calls himself.
The good news: Rocky lost 24 in his first three years on the job — but only 17 since then!
Like Seed, several of Rocky's banished have taken parting shots at the mayor, claiming he was abusive. Rocky said last week he is on a "self-improvement program" to cut his cussing (or was it to improve his cussing?). As Jerry Sloan would say, do we have to put our dirty laundry out there for everybody to see?
Rocky is to staffers what the Gabor sisters were to husbands. His employees should get a Purple Heart with their pink slip. If Rocky has made 41 hiring mistakes — or even 25 or 30 — you have to wonder about his hiring methods. Maybe there are better ways to hire staffers than throwing darts at a phone book. Is this guy auditioning for "The Apprentice"? Memo to Rocky: Think office temps.
According to research that was happily provided by Frank Pignanelli during his campaign against Rocky in the last election — research taken from the Government Records Access Management Act — only one of former Mayor Palmer DePaulis' appointees left or was fired, and five of former Mayor Deedee Corradini's appointees left or were fired.
"Forty-one is just not acceptable," Rocky will announce at his parting press conference. "I wasn't happy with my work."
Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesday. Please send e-mail to drob@desnews.com.
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