Adults, youths don't seem to understand 'no'

By John Florez
Published: Sunday, Oct. 23, 2005 8:29 p.m. MDT
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I was taught that if you tore a stamp off an envelope the federal government would come after you for breaking the law. And it all started so innocently. One day, as a kid, I rushed home from school all excited because I wanted to start a stamp collection just like some of my schoolmates. I figured since my immigrant parents sometimes got mail from Mexico, I could have a great collection. Not so.

My mother, who spoke only Spanish, quickly squelched my enthusiasm and in a stern tone told me, "Con el gobierno no se fuega" (you don't mess around with the federal government). I was told it was a federal offense to tear a stamp off and, if I did, the police would come after me. That was one of many daily lessons I learned about living by the rules, according to my mother and "reaffirmed" by my father when necessary (which is more than I want to remember).

My parents escaped the violence of the Mexican revolution shortly after being married in their "ranchito" in Fresnillo, Zacatecas. Not unlike today's immigrants, they left to seek a better life. They ended up in Idaho picking onions and thinning beets. The only schooling they had was my father's — a second-grade education in Fresnillo. They did not understand English, but they were honest, hard-working people who were humble, respected the laws and made sure their children did as well. But then, that was true for most families in those days. Fortunately, there are still parents who teach their children to live by the rules very early in life and as adults they don't need cops to remind them. They have that tape of their mother's rules constantly running in their mind.

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That was then. Now, we see a breakdown in personal responsibility and an increasing disrespect for the law. "No" doesn't really mean "no." Today, many show no respect for teachers, law enforcement or the law — be it driving, school bullying or taxes. We have politicians, locally and nationally, who interpret the laws according to their convenience. It's only when they get caught that they claim amnesia or a clerical error. We have upstanding people evading taxes. Maybe they didn't have moms to remind them, "You don't mess with the federal government."

Now we have created industries to teach parents how to let the children express themselves so as not to hurt their self-esteem and have "quality time" with them. Though the past generation of parents got tired of saying "no" and reinforcing rules, they knew that was the "quality time" needed in order to raise a "quality kid" who would live by the rules without being told (except by that constant mom in the head). We have all kinds of laws to punish lawbreakers from running red lights, to poachers, to white collar to serious crimes. Yet, many are outdated and enforced arbitrarily. Is it any wonder we have adults ignoring and making a mockery of our laws? Is it any wonder we have youths who disrespect authority? I would like to have a dollar for the number of times I have heard teachers say they are disrespected and told, "My dad makes more than you do."

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