An epidemic of loutishness
Ugly examples of bad behavior abound. There's the story about an overweight woman who didn't know she was pregnant until the 11th hour. She claims she received barbed and poisonous e-mails for weeks. Bill O'Reilly and Rocky Anderson squared off in a duel that produced nothing but flames and smoke. And there are the serrated Internet notes that students at Yale — of all places — have been using to undermine each other's reputations.
Once "poison pen letters" were the anomaly. Now, a good, civil letter in measured tones is the rarity.
One reason is the immediacy of communication. People don't have to take several hours to get a letter in the mail. They can fire one off within moments, before their better natures have a chance to ease the anger. Many such writers end up feeling apologetic. It's not unusual for a flame-throwing e-mailer to write back to the newspaper within hours, pleading to have a letter rescinded.
The other issue, we feel, has to do with accountability. It's easier to be anonymous than ever before. Face-to-face talks are down. Texting, telephones and e-mails are up. Road rage would die down if the combatants were forced to give their names, phone numbers and addresses — as newspapers demand.
When a person is forced to own their words, they often end up either eating them or swallowing them before they have a chance to get out.
This begs the question, of course: What can be done to bring civility back into the free exchange of ideas?
Newspaper people develop rather thick skins, but they do have a rule of thumb: Ignore communication from people who refuse to give their real names. Don't let their loutishness spoil your day.
As for other public discourse, we suggest a tactic from the late poet, William Stafford. "Most people like to say, 'I sure told him off!"' he once said. "I prefer to say, 'I sure out-listened him!"'
Civil discourse, like most things in society, starts one person at a time.
It begins with each of us.
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