Tales From the Crypt Presents Demon Knight
Those familiar with the "Tales From the Crypt" cable-TV series know what to expect from "Demon Knight" . . . horror laced with gleefully splattered gore, gratuitous sex, naked bimbos and a silly — and very dark — sense of humor.But unlike the half-hour programs on the small screen (based on the ancient comic book of the same name), this big-screen version is feature-length . . . and it goes on for far too long. It's a "Tale" from the crypt — that is, one tale. Don't go in expecting an anthology of short stories.
What's more, despite the presence of such names in the credits as Robert Zemeckis ("Forrest Gump"), Walter Hill ("Geronimo") and Richard Donner ("Maverick") — all listed as executive producers — this is strictly low-rent trash.
Not that trash can't be fun, mind you. But there is no wit or cleverness here, the plot is overly familiar and the trappings bring to mind another trashy splatter flick, "The Evil Dead." (Although this one is more expensive, with better special effects.)
Framed by the bad puns ("You're no Robert Deadford") of the TV show's host, the Crypt Keeper — a sort of Muppet from hell — the film begins with a car chase, crash and explosion involving the "Demon Knight" central characters. A high-ranking agent of Satan called the Collector (Billy Zane) is chasing a guy named Brayker (William Sadler) across the country, and they crash just outside Wormwood, N.M.
The plot has the Collector attempting to relieve Brayker of a mysterious "key," actually a sort of Holy Grail that has been periodically filled over the past 2,000 years with the blood of righteous men (beginning with Jesus, as we discover in flashbacks).
And once the Collector reveals his identity and summons a demon army as backup — an army that looks like the Crypt Keeper's family reunion — a truly disgusting gorefest begins.
The problem here is clearly the script, with very little that is original and amusing. Zane does have his moments as the satanic figure — the villains always get the best lines. Pinkett, who fared well in the equally disappointing "A Low Down Dirty Shame" and "Jason's Lyric," tries hard with another underwritten feisty character. And Fleischer, a standup comic best known as the voice of Roger Rabbit, manages to bring some humanity to his poor soul role.
But director Ernest Dickerson ("Juice") is never able to find the necessary pizazz or style to bring the proceedings alive, and it doesn't help that most of the film is statically set in the motel.
There are two more "Tales From the Crypt" movies coming. We can only hope they get better.
"Demon Knight" is rated R for considerable violence, gore and nudity, along with some sex and profanity.