Virus

VIRUS — turkey — Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin, Donald Sutherland, Joanna Pacula, Sherman Augustus, Cliff Curtis, Marshall Bell, Julio Oscar Mechoso; rated R (violence, gore, profanity, torture); Carmike 12 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Sandy Movies 9; Loews Cineplex Crossroads Plaza, Holladay Center, Midvalley and Trolley North Cinemas.

If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, then why does "Virus" seem like such a slap in the face to the makers of "Alien"?

This disgustingly gory science-fiction/horror film also bears a striking resemblance to last year's equally graphic "Deep Rising" and nearly surpasses that film with its sheer stupidity.

That the filmmaker, John Bruno, is a former special-effects wizard, should give you some idea of how much attention is paid to actual storytelling and characterizations. And in his incapable hands, "Virus" reaches such levels of unintentional humor that it could be considered a comedy — if it weren't being advertised differently.

Of course, that doesn't come as much of a surprise, considering the source material is a not-very-well-regarded comic book (written by Chuck Pfarrer, who also co-wrote the screenplay). The story has an extraterrestrial entity threatening mankind's existence.

The unfortunate humans trying to stop the alien are the crew of the barge Sea Star, who stumble onto a deserted Russian research ship, the Volkov, during a salvage operation. While navigator "Kit" Foster (Jamie Lee Curtis) urges caution, her greed-crazed captain (Donald Sutherland) decides to investigate the derelict vessel.

What he and his officers discover inside horrifies them: an electrically based lifeform has taken over the Volkov and is combining pieces from the crew's bodies with robotic circuitry, creating killer cyborgs that roam the decks for new body parts for it to experiment with.

If that wasn't bad enough, there's a typhoon raging outside, and a well-timed act of sabotage has sunk the Sea Star, leaving them nowhere to run.

You have to feel sorry for Bruno, who quit his job as visual effects supervisor on "Titanic" to make the film. In other words, he could have won an Academy Award but chose to direct this stinker instead.

And though the other cast members (especially Baldwin) don't have great cinematic track records, it's disconcerting to see Curtis in this piece of garbage. (To top things off, she's not very good in it, either.)

However, the film's sorriest performances come from Sutherland, who employs a different British accent every scene he's in, and Pacula, who probably wishes her Russian dialect was that good.

"Virus" is rated R for gunplay and violent attacks by the biomechanical beasts, gory makeup effects (shown very graphically), profanity and a brief scene of torture.