What a lot of wussy advice: basically, just ignore the situation(s). Confrontation is unpleasant but to just stay away leads to missed opportunities and lives filled with regret and isolation. Where is courage and character and hope in all this? Such diffidence leads to fear and resignation, which in turn lay the foundation where bullies thrive and false ideals prevail. Not to expose children to these difficult situations is to deny them the opportunity for growth and the possiblity of change. What a disservice you have done--both to the children, as well as to the mother who will not be honored by her son, and to the grandparents whose bitterness cannot be relieved by the overture of a son who still loves them and his children who they will not know.

"Dear Abby" has gone way down hill since Jeanne Phillips took over a few years ago. The gift that her mother had for diffusing confrontations, turning a clever phrase and showing real empathy with readers, has certainly been lost. No one saves or quites "Dear Abby" now. Why should they?

Re: Not My Fault,

So, Sis slams the door, and you get to feel part of the parents' wrath. I wouldn't put up with a spoiled kid who damamged my house, either. Take the door off, and put up a privacy curtain. Then get her to anger management classes along with revoking all other priveleges until she has changed. This type of silly childishness shouldn't be allowed to continue. She can destroy her own apartment when she moves out, and the landlord will make her pay for it.