@ rivers, It sounds like you are satisfied with your life and happy.
But, I think you are missing something here. These researchers did
sit down and talk with people like you. And they talked with others. Their
sample was random and large. This makes it more scientifically sound. Then
they averaged the results. The % of people like you who (satisfied, happy in
their married life) was greater for those who "had fewer sexual
partners", and/or "had a bigger wedding", among other things. You
can't attribute cause like everyone is doing here (You can't from a
scientific perspective). But you also can't dismiss their results as
flawed as you seem to be doing. At least you can't dismiss their results
without sounding like you are biased.
If each person is unique, then it is also true that every marriage is unique,
and quantifying and qualifying marriages from questionnaries will never lead to
understanding just what is the essence of a good marriage. I will admit that it
all seems to makes sense, but statistics is a tool that we should not apply to
things that lie almost completely in the spiritual realm. It's very unfair
to judge peoples' relationships so quickly, based on externals, mainly.
"Bronze age rules" - that is such a silly phrase. There were plenty of
"bronze age" people who didn't have a clue about living chaste
lives. This revelation from God was totally independent from the culture of the
people at the time. This principle has been revealed anew in our day, and it is
just as foreign to the "nuclear age" as it was in the "bronze
@clarissa" Finally, the Lord had to give them explicit rules so
that they could learn obedience."Aw, so the cruelty doled out
toward slaves and women is a larger lesson involving God and the male
slaveowners. The Bible makes much more sense now, I guess I was just being a
Here, again, is strict religious talk about the unusual life very religious
people lead in comparison to the rest of the world. Just more of the "we are
better than everyone else" syndrome in today's forum. Perhaps
these poll takers( or journalists) could sit down and have a discussion with
those who are not living bound by ancient laws. Listen for a bit to those
who, basically, live just as the rest of you do, except...How about
interviewing happy couples with loving, successful families who have been
married a long time? How about the senior people who have made it a half a
century without all the biblical(some so cruel) and LDS rules? Why not
talk to these clean, well intentioned, kind, friendly, courteous, law abiding,
organized, generous, well educated, prosperous, middle class people?Not
all of the readers are living the life as conservatives tout as "the
answer". BTW, we have and. are doing extremely well, thank you!
@slcdenizenLast year I read the complete King James Bible. It
wasn't until I read the Old Testament that I began to understand why there
were such harsh rules. The Israelites were constantly disobedient. God gave them
so many chances, but they still were constantly being wicked despite God's
constant love for them and forgiveness. Finally, the Lord had to give them
explicit rules so that they could learn obedience. They stayed in the wilderness
for forty years to let the first generation die out. When they got to Palestine,
they still continued to be disobedient. This eventually caused the destruction
of their whole society. So regardless if you believe in the Bible, there is an
explanation for the harsh rules. I wonder what rules have been lost? I guess my
real point is that even if you look at the Bible was non-religious, it still
makes sense as to why there were such harsh rules. I wish everyone would wait
until marriage before sex and children, but this is a free world.
@ksampow writes "If we follow the word of God as revealed to his
prophets.."Might I respectfully remind you that plenty of those
prophets decreed that God had told them some pretty precise laws about
slavery--who could be enslaved, how much to pay for them, how to treat them. Is
there a reason you don't follow those laws? If you truly follow
Jesus Christ, you should perhaps remember that he was never quoted as denying
marriage (or anything else) to gays. But he did say, "Love one
another", and "Do unto Others" without any commentary about worrying
if they were gay or ate shellfish.
Did the headline writer even read the article? Here is the critical line, which
led a paragraph of explanation:"The study does not prove
cause" . Correlation is not, repeat not cause, and the correlation of your
premarital experiences and the level of marital satisfaction does not begin to
"prove" that one caused the other. And that's assuming
that people are honest about premarital sex. I went to high school in Brigham
City and saw any number of my classmates get permission for temple marriages and
then deliver babies six to eight months later.
@ksampow"But science will never answer religious and moral
questions without drawing on the Source of spiritual truth. "Was
it the source of spiritual truth that directed the Israelites to stone
non-virgins on the wedding night? What about strict rules for treating slaves?
Also, all human knowledge has arrived through trial and error, falling under the
scope of "science". So trying to distinguish bronze age myths as
different from a simplified understanding of science is quite silly.
Trust is a huge factor in chastity before and during marriage. How a couple
uses that trust will determine the longevity of a good marriage relationship.
It is a foundation upon which that marriage is based and brings stability to it.
I agree with the article and the study that was reported. The
marital relationship is sacred and is a commitment not to be taken lightly, Our
children are the ones who benefit from the fidelity in their parents'
relationship and their example. It makes a difference for things to be done
in order. Marriage first, then children, not vice versa. We learn
and teach Honesty and believe in being true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous and
doing good to all . . . " to paraphrase a simple tenet to live by and be
happy in our relationships, lives. It is a matter of choice. We
are agents unto ourselves and need to be true to ourselves and others to be
Chastity - the Lord's standard - is the best way to prepare for marriage.
Science occasionally stumbles onto a spiritual truth. If we follow the word of
God as revealed to his prophets, we need not wait for science to verify it - or
be tossed about by scientific research which often contradicts other
research.This is not an indictment of science. Science can do wonders
with measurable, verifiable issues such as medical research, which has saved
countless lives. But science will never answer religious and moral questions
without drawing on the Source of spiritual truth. (Even for truths which are
outside of the realm of religion, many innovators have credited divine
inspiration for their discoveries.)
90% of people have premarital sex with an average of 5 partners---shudder and 77
percent have already slept with the person they marry before getting married?
How is marriage an asset? it is mostly a liability if there is nothing
different before and after marriage. This is very disheartening. Whatever
happened to self control/discipline in our society. This number is only going
to get worse with the proliferation of pornography. Now many people that
haven't necessarily had sexual relationship before marriage will have
likely had sexual experiences prior to marriage. Those that go into marriage
free from sexual baggage will be even fewer and farther between. So grateful I
waited until marriage and so grateful I hadn't been exposed to pornography
(thankfully access was much more limited back then). Nothing can compare to
having your first sexual experience be with someone you love enough (without
having had sex with them) to commit to spend your life with. Then sex is this
HUGE bonus on an already amazing relationship.